do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
