when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
