Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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