We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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