Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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