Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
