Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
