Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
