brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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