how can u be prego again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
