You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Randomize
