You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
