I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
