God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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