I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
