just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
