You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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