I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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