Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
