i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
