he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
