Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I intend to get homeless drunk
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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