I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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