goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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