This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
