do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
