wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
