i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
