She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
