i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize