Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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