Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
