This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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