ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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