hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
