That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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