I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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