well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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