jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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