I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
