i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
