i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
