So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
