Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
