You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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