dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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