You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
