im having a threesome with these popsicles
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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