I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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