Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
