Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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