what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
