He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
