Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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