i barfeds in our rink
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
