Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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